I heard this over the Christmas holiday and you will enjoy it.
If you don't know the original Gilbert and Sullivan song, you should. Find it on the Internet. Then enjoy this version, which I first read on the excellent Monstrous Regiment blog:
We've Got a Little List Too (with apologies to Gilbert and Sullivan)
As someday it may happen that Pope Benedict comes round,
I've got a little list, I've got a little list,
Of ecclesial offenders who'd be better underground
And who never would be missed, who never would be missed.
The diocesan bureaucracy for every single See
That garners all their pennies from the likes of you and me;
The crass renewal programmes which cost parishes the earth
And the Catholic "Intellectuals" who doubt the Virgin Birth
And the sanctuary re-orderers who hide the Eucharist.
They'd none of 'em be missed! They'd none of 'em be missed!
(Refrain: You may put 'em on the list...)
The composers and librettists of a thousand awful hymns -
We've got 'em on the list, we've got 'em on the list -
The episcopal ordinary indulging all his whims -
He never would be missed; he never would be missed.
The highly paid youth worker who knows nothing about youth,
Who sits on four committees and is too long in the tooth,
The well-connected journalist who spouts 'progressive' views
And the feminist dissenter who is always in the news.
And that universal irritant, the layman liturgist
We've got 'em on the list, we've got 'em on the list
(Refrain: We've got 'em on the list, we've got 'em on the list...)
The welcoming committee who shove hymn books in your face -
We've got 'em on the list, we've got 'em on the list -
Fr Ad Lib, Fr Make-it-up and others of his race
They never would be missed; they never would be missed.
The self-important music group who lead you from the front
The ugly new cathedral where you fall into the font
The kind of clergy jollies costing 20,000 quid
Which produce a "Vision Statement" in an hotel near Madrid
And Sister Mary Trousersuit, the trendy catechist
I'm sure she'll not be missed - I'm sure she'll not be missed!
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6 comments:
That is one of my favourite G and S songs. The new version is great, but it has to be sung to the tune to get the full effect.
Brilliant. The irony is that if you put these words in front of the congregation in the average 'liberal' parish in England, they'd mumble through it without even thinking about the words -they're so used to trite pap, words and music.
I posted it first, so there!
Fantastic!!!
And so true.
simply delightful.Your blogs really warm my heart.
Delightful! We used to do our annual G&S opera in O'Connell Schools, Dublin, at this time of year. I was in the men's chorus for The Mikado way back in 1961. None of the 'offenders' you listed even existed then.
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