...first it was the Hoover. At Mother's. It seemed to be making a nasty crackling noise, and anyway it needed a new bag, so I went to some trouble to get one (v. tiresome - you have to get the right-shaped bag for the right sort of vacuum cleaner. Traipsed round shops and supermarkets....) Today, brandishing the new bag in triumph, I arrivd at M's...got the Hoover going, and the nasty crackling got suddenly more exciting, and a spark or two flew from the rear of the thing, and the smoke alarm suddenly shrieked PHEEP PHEEP PHEEP! and there was a whiff of smoke and things got slightly scary...
We're getting a new vacuum cleaner.
Then it was the mobile phone. Westminster Cathedral. The queue for confession. There we all were, silent, prayerful, Lenten, in front of the Lady Chapel. Statues draped in purple for forthcoming Passiontide. People silently coming and going. A touching scene in one of the world's great churches. Suddenly the air was pierced by a HORRIBLY LOUD chirping, the sound jangling in the silent air, shrieking, throbbing, from my handbag . Hurried scramble to find it. Hoarse whispered conversation. (It was Mother, saying I'd left my keys at her house).
I am not very good at machines. I phoned M. back a bit later and we both enjoyed a laugh over all this.
I still don't know how to turn off my mobile, and last time I tried it turned on a video camera and I got lots and lots of film of the inside of my handbag.
10 comments:
This is soo funny Joanna. I can so relate to this!!! It happens to the best of us:)
I'll show you how on Maundy Thursday... just to be on the safe side!!
;-)
It could be worse. My phone once went of in confession. And I had it set to a particularly loud and tuneful ring tone because I struggle to hear it in my bag. My small daughter waiting outside (and I suspect, everyone else in the Church) thought it hysterically funny. I have rarely felt more embarrassed!
Just a 'leetle' warning! It's worse up here!
Joanna,
Please get a "bagless" vacuume.
They are so handy.
My husband is a Dr. and when he is at church while also on call he puts his phone on the vibrate mode. That works out well.
We all have those days don't we.
You don't ever need to turn it off, however if someone can show you how to put it on SILENT it will be much more helpful! Wish I was there to help.
How about reading the instruction book for your phone?
Joanna!
Mobile phones that ring in church should be immediately destroyed. If I ever get a lectureship that will certainly be my policy. If it rings, out of the window. Phones that survive can be retrived afterwards.
Joanna, This is almost a relief. you sound so clever in every other way that it's a relief you are as inept, at least in one area, as the rest of us. How on earth do you set your video to record good programmes that you miss when you are out and about? I must admit for that one I have to rely on my teenager daughter. I hope to master it before she leaves home - but the technology will be different by then!
My cell phone makes enough noise on vibrate to annoy my adult children if they are sitting in the pew with me, so I leave mine in the car. I figure I can't answer it in church anyway. The other problem with putting it on vibrate is that I forget to turn it back on to ring, and if I've left it in a jacket pocket or my purse, I won't hear it when it does go off. Of course that then annoys someone mightily when they can't get through to me. Oh the foibles of technology. The young people in my life are much more sanguine about not answering their phones than I am, even though they seem to answer in places I might not and they do understand better how to program the monsters. My most embarassing moment with the cell phone at church was the day I decided to turn it off after I got inside and it played the nice little "I'm being turned off tune." That time I would have done better to simply switch it to vibrate.
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