The government has just approved funds for...

...the Hydro-NO! group, which is working with schools and youth groups to challenge stereotypical beliefs about artificial barriers between land masses.

"After being marginalised for so long, and subject to hydro-abuse from so many sides, it's a relief to be recognised at last"   said leading campaigner Itsa Nydea. "What a lot of people just don't realise is how prejudices about land and water over the centuries have created a complete hydro-based set of beliefs which need to be challenged by those of us who know a different reality."

Hydro-NO  is working on new material for geography classes that show that there is not necessarily water between Britain and France, and certainly none between  Europe and America.

"It's all  about recognising where we are at today. Hydro-based notions of the past are just, in various ways, forms of oppression."

A booklet for schools says: "We all know that whether there is water or not is something that can depend on feelings: mirages in the desert prove that.  So it is just prejudice to suggest that we should use words like 'ocean' to describe something that could actually be dry land tomorrow if people really felt, in themselves, that it was."

"Over the centuries people have even given names to large areas of what they describe as 'sea'.  This is really offensive to those of us who just don't accept the idea that large tracts of water exist between different continents. Expressions like 'Atlantic Ocean' and 'North Sea' really need to be banned."

Transport authorities are among those backing the campaign and are arranging that bus drivers using expressions like "seaside" or "river" are penalised.

Hoc est. iocus. Sed...